You're listening to the life friendly business podcast. I'm your host, Erin Thomas Wong, business coach, mentor, author and founder of the cocoon VIP membership, empowering women around the world to build businesses on their terms. If you want to grow and scale a business that works in harmony with your family and your life, this podcast is for you.
Do you feel like one day you're gonna get found out that people are going to realise that you're not that great at what you do? Do you feel like everyone else around you is doing it better, and that they all know more than you and offer a superior service.
If this resonates with you, you may well be suffering from what's commonly known as imposter syndrome. In other words, sometimes you feel riddled with self doubt and feel out of place in your industry, it's actually much more common than you might think, especially in entrepreneurship. And using social media for your business can highlight imposter syndrome even more acutely. Because you're constantly seeing your competitors front stage, even though you have no idea what their backstage looks like.
And here's my confession. I feel it too. I find myself watching competitors doing amazing things. And sometimes, if I'm honest, it gets to me, especially if I'm already feeling a little bit vulnerable or wobbly about something. Generally, because I'm tired and I need a rest. When you see people posting about how much money they've made in a big launch or in a promotional push, it's really easy to get sucked into those feelings of self doubt.
But the big shift came for me when I realised that even though those feelings might show up, and it's really important to acknowledge them, I don't need to stay there. I don't need to wallow in my own self doubt, because that actually only leads to a negative outcome. It's very hard to take positive action from such a dark place. And this is where nurturing a positive and resilient mindset really comes into its own. Because in truth, it is necessary to a certain extent to be aware of the industry around you. And if you're approaching it from a more healthy mindset, you can actually be inspired by your peers. But it is important to stop yourself from letting imposter syndrome take over and paralysing you from taking action.
I want to tell you a story about my lovely friend who I met years and years ago, when I was running pitter patter, the hub for Bubs, which were venues for baby and toddler classes. She was a party entertainer and activity provider, she was phenomenal. She would light up the room and have everyone adults and children alike absolutely captivated. Especially the men because she is particularly gorgeous. Now I knew a lot of activity providers during my time running pitter patter. And one day I was chatting to her about just how awesome she was. And I asked her whether she'd done loads of research into what makes a good party and how to keep people so engaged. And I was absolutely astounded when she said to me that she had never seen another party entertainer in action. And she'd never visited another baby and toddler class. So she didn't have children of her own at that point. And I really couldn't believe it. She was so good at it. And how could she be so good when she hadn't seen any examples of people doing it? So what was her secret? She listened to her intuition. She was self assured. She knew that this was her zone of genius. And she didn't need to compare herself to others because she trusted in her own ability to deliver something magical. She could see on people's faces, how valuable what she was doing was she could see that people were enjoying it. And she was taking that at face level rather than worrying about what all her competitors were doing.
So do you feel that self assured? Do you listen to your gut? Do you trust that you're doing a great job? And if you're thinking no, Erin, I wish I could feel like that. Don't worry, I've got some things to help you with that. But I think that this is something that I've definitely learned to do. I've definitely felt more self assured over the last few years than I ever have in my life. I don't know whether it's to do with turning 40 But I think this is something that it takes time to get to this point. But that doesn't mean that if you're listening into this and you're 25, that you're going to have to wait 15 years. So hopefully I can help you out with that.
What I want you to think about is this, in your business, whatever it is that you do, you only need to be two steps ahead of your customer in order to help them. You don't need to know everything. And in fact, it's really good to niche down so that actually, you're a specialist in one particular area. No one expects you to know everything. And I have no doubt that you know enough right now, to help people and to make a difference to them. You know enough, you are enough.
So next time you find yourself paralysed by comparisonitis or stuck in a storm of imposter syndrome, I want you to follow these three steps.
Number one, acknowledge how you're feeling. It's okay to feel that. But what I want you to do is to recognise it for what it is. This is not evidence that you are no good at what you do. This is a feeling this is self doubt, talking. So acknowledge that you're feeling it, but recognise it for what it is.
Step two, remind yourself that you are good enough, you are enough. And you know enough, you just need to be two steps ahead of the person behind you in order to help them. Laura Robinson from Worditude who I interviewed for this podcast talked to me about having a folder of awesomeness. And in that folder, she keeps all her testimonials and screenshots from social media of when people have said how amazing she is. And whenever she's feeling a little bit wobbly, she can go into her folder of awesomeness, and remind herself of all the amazing stuff that people have said, because it's so easy for us to get caught in the negativity and the spiral of that thinking. But actually, you need to show yourself the evidence of what is true. And the evidence of what people have said about you and about your work in the past. And I really love that we must celebrate these good things.
And step three, is to once you've acknowledged it, and you've reminded yourself that you are enough, you need to move past the feeling, do not stay there, move past the feeling of imposter syndrome and start taking action. I don't know whether you've come across Mel Robbins and her five second rule. Very, very simple. She said you can use it for anything. She came up with this when she was actually so depressed that she couldn't get out of bed. And she basically counted down 54321 Move her body move take action, you can use it for going to the gym, you can use it for making an awkward phone call. But you can also use it for this, acknowledge that you're feeling like that and decide you're going to move on away from that feeling. Just let the feeling go.
So just to recap, the three steps that I'd love you to take are to number one, acknowledge that you're feeling it and it's perfectly normal, but recognise it for what it is. Number two, remind yourself that you are enough and you know enough. And keep yourself a folder of awesome this to remind you of that. And number three step three, move past the feeling. Do not stay there.
I really hope that's been useful today. Please do share this episode. If you think someone needs to hear it. Let's knock imposter syndrome on the head and keep showing up. See you next week.
Honestly, it can feel like there is a lot you need to learn when building a thriving business. And it's easy to feel like you'll never know everything you need to be successful. But it is possible just so long as you stay focused on building the right knowledge and skills. When you join the Cocoon VIP membership, you'll have the opportunity to book a one to one orientation call with me and I'll help you to prioritise the activities that will have the biggest impact on your business and direct you to the materials and the library that you need. There's no need to learn it all we'll just focus on the things that will make the biggest difference to you. We have everything you need to build a life friendly business. So check out the cocoon now at lifefriendlybusiness.com/cocoon
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
