You're listening to the life friendly business podcast. I'm your host, Erin Thomas Wong, business coach & mentor, author and founder of the cocoon VIP membership, empowering women around the world to build businesses on their terms. If you want to grow and scale a business that works in harmony with your family and your life, this podcast is for you.
Hello, this is Erin, and welcome to the life friendly business podcast. This week, we are talking all about how to make sales feel less icky. So I am not an expert in sales, I'm going to lay that out on the table now. But what I am going to do is share with you how I felt about selling in the past, which may well be how you're feeling too. And what I've done and the experiences I've been through that have helped me change my mindset on selling so that you can benefit from that, too.
So I know when I first started my business 13 years ago now, which was a jewellery franchise, I had this real image of selling, being like you know, the car salesman, type selling. And you know, in fact, it was interesting, because in this last year, I experienced this again firsthand when our car broke down. When we were going away for a nice weekend without the kids typical, the car broke down. And we were in that awful position where they said it's going to cost more money to repair it than it would be to you know, buy a new car.
So we were really pushed into that urgency of needing to buy a new car. And we live in Bournemouth and the car had broken down near Southampton. So it had been towed to the nearest garage there. And basically this car salesman at the garage, he all he was interested in was selling me a car through their umbrella. In fact, he didn't even have the kind of model that we wanted at the showroom. They were over in Kent. So he couldn't actually give me anything to test drive. But he was just constantly pushing me to buy those cars to the point where I was saying, actually, we've been having a look and we really like the idea of having a sunroof. He actually said to me, yes, well, a lot of people don't like a sunroof because they're not safe having glass on the top of the car. And I was like, oh, my goodness, literally, he did not care what my needs were or what my desires were as a customer, all he wanted was to be able to sell me the model of the car that he had, which didn't have a sunroof. And I know damn well, if they had one that had a sunroof, he'd be telling me all the reasons why I should be getting a sunroof.
So it was a reminder of that really icky sales technique where you know that all they're interested in is getting your money and they don't really care at all. So that was a really good reminder for me this year, because I remembered that, you know, when I first started my jewellery company, I really felt like a fish out of water. And one of the main ways of selling was to do stallholder events, markets and fairs and things like that. Now, I am quite a confident person, I I'm happy to speak to strangers. But selling was a completely new thing for me. And you know, this jewellery was a considered purchase. It was bespoke fingerprint jewelry with your child's fingerprint or hand and footprinting. And it wasn't cheap, you know. So it was a considered purchase. So it wasn't just like someone browsing the store and buying a five pound bracelet or something, it was a considered purchase. And you know that the whole idea is that you had all this sales patter that you could go through and talk to people. And you know, it's just I've found it so hard because you'd start trying to speak to people and they were blatantly not interested. And, you know, felt like you had this kind of rejection constantly by people's reactions to it. And obviously, you know, you did get a mixture of people who were absolutely lovely, and I did make sales.
But it felt really hard and really exhausting to be attending those events. But gradually, the more of these events that I did, I managed to find my own way of doing it, and then a way that felt more comfortable. And the fact is, is that you know, the more mindful you are and the more aware you are at those kinds of events, you get to see the people that might be interested in having a conversation about it. And you also get to tell the people that there's no point even starting to speak to them. And then people with their heads down scowl on their face. They're not interested in being spoken to, you know, a lot of people walk a meter away from the stall, just kind of glancing because they're so desperate to avoid that sales patter.
So you start to realize those differences. And, you know, when I also went on to organize night markets when I was running Ealing mums in business with my partner, Shelly, we organised these night markets that had 40 stallholders - absolutely fantastic community events. But there'd be so many stallholders there who would just sit for the whole event with their head down, not engaging with anyone. And you know, you can really see it, it creates this bad energy. It's just not very nice, and it's not very engaging. And then some of those people would complain to us that they haven't sold anything. And you're like, it might be because you're not actually open to having conversations with customers. So honestly, having a smile on your face goes such a long way. You need to look approachable, when you're at those kinds of events. And yes, it is tiring. I mean, I remember the days of sitting there on my store from 10 till six. And even if I'd just been sitting down on my stall all day, I would be absolutely exhausted. And it's because I was constantly on alert, looking for those opportunities to have conversations with people. And I don't mean that in a really really salesy way either.
So, over time, it also dawned with me that with the jewellery that I was selling, what I was really doing is selling a memory. Because this was all about capturing a really precious moment in time when your kids are little. And as is so lovely. And I think you know, even though the franchisors had always explained that to us, it's not like that was a new thing. It took a while for it to sink in for me. And for me to realize that actually, that's what I need to speak to people about. That's what I need to make them aware of the fact that with this jewelry, they can capture this moment in time. So it's, you know, it's not like, oh, do you need a bracelet or a necklace, it's like, actually imagine how lovely it will be in 10 years time to have this tiny fingerprint of when they were a baby. So that made the conversations much easier for me.
So when I built my current business, Life Friendly Business, so that's about six years ago, now, this is a digital business. And it actually all revolves around me helping people. So I'm no longer selling someone else's products. I'm selling me. And this is huge. And I know that so many other women out there struggle with this idea of selling themselves or selling themselves as a product or selling their expertise as a service. And it brings up so much imposter syndrome, and self doubt. And the honest truth is, is that it has taken me time to work through that.
And also investing in mentoring support, attending conferences, having consultants to help me in different areas, and also working on my own self development. So I've attended the Tony Robbins, Unleash the Power Within events, I've read his books, you know, you might not gel with Tony Robbins. But for me, you know, I found him incredibly empowering and working on all this stuff to help me to feel stronger and validated from within. And, you know, that is all actually what's been amazing about doing all that self development work is that I can now pass that on to my clients, and help them with those things as well.
So you do need to spend time reaching in within yourself and working out why you might be feeling less confident than you want to be when it comes to selling. So one of my favorite lightbulb moments was a quote from Cori Javid where she said that selling is simply offering someone the opportunity for you to help them - offering them the opportunity. It's not pushing something on them that they don't need. It's presenting it to them as an option. And it's about giving them the information they need to make a considered decision. So I absolutely love this because it's not like we are trying to bend someone's arm behind their back to buy from us. It's not like we're trying to cheat someone out of money. What we're doing is saying to them, this is how I can help you. Would you like that help? And of course some people are gonna say no, and that's absolutely fine, but some people are gonna see the value in what you're doing and they're gonna say yes, and that's what we need to concentrate on. So I really love that quote. And I hope that that helps you to selling is simply offering someone the opportunity for you to help them. I think that makes sales a lot less icky.
So feeling confident about selling undoubtedly starts from within. And you need to genuinely believe that your product or service can make a difference to people, if you're not sure that it will genuinely make a difference, that's where research comes in, testing it doing a beta launch or beta launch, however you want to pronounce it, you know, putting some research out there asking people would this be useful to them.
But also, I want you to be aware of self limiting behavior. Because if you've got doubts about what you're selling, you know, yes, it may need improving. Absolutely, we need to be tweaking and improving things all the time in our businesses, that's something that we should be expecting. But there could also be an element of self limiting behavior, where actually, what you do, what you can do for people is really amazing. And what's stopping you from getting out there is purely your lack of self confidence. So your role in selling is to make sure that you are providing all the information that the customer needs to make an informed choice.
So I'd love you to go away from this podcast and think about whether you have that information in place, or whether there's more that you could do to be able to allow your customer, your potential customer to make that informed decision. If you still feel icky about selling, really dig deep into what might be going on, is it that you're not actually aligned with what you're selling? Like I say, you know, you may feel really passionate about the subject that you're talking about. But the actual product or service you've created, maybe it's not feeling aligned, is it that you just feel really uncomfortable having sales conversations, because you've never been trained in sales, and you're not sure how to do it properly. That's, you know, absolutely a genuine reason for feeling like that. And that's something that if you invest in some training, that you can sort out, is it that you don't feel like you're an expert enough? Or an authority in your field? Is it a feeling of like, why would someone buy from me, and these are things that you can get through. And you can really feel so much better about if you spend some some time working on self development. So you need to recognize what's making it feel so hard so that you can resolve these things. And I want you to know that it really is possible, I have come on leaps and bounds with my confidence when it comes to what I'm selling. And you know, that feeling of knowing deep down, that you really can make a difference to people that has made all the difference in the way that I communicate what I'm offering, and how I feel when I'm selling a service to someone.
If you can invest in a coach/mentor, this is the kind of thing that we can work through. And I think having that one to one support is the fastest way to get you through these kinds of feelings. And also the Evolve mastermind, the whole idea of the Evolve mastermind is that we work together in a small group for 12 weeks. So, you know, we know with these kinds of things, self doubt and imposter syndrome, they rear their ugly head from time to time. And the idea of the being part of the Evolve mastermind is that you have that support, they're ready and waiting for those moments that come up so that we can help push you through it and get you through to the other side and get you taking action.
There's also a fantastic app called Think up, which has affirmations on about building your confidence around selling and also around being a business owner. And you record your own voice saying the affirmations and then it adds music to it and you play it back to yourself. And it's brilliant, I really recommend doing that. That definitely helped me so much to the point where I don't listen to it anymore. But I know it's there when I need it. You know, for a long time, I would listen to that every day. And it really, really helped. So the reality is that until you do feel comfortable and confident selling authentically, you're going to be capping the amount of success that you can have in your business. So this really is important work to do, and you need to make it a priority. Reach out to me if you need any help, and I'll see you next week.
Does every win field slightly tinged with guilt? Do you have your best month ever financially in your business, but yet you feel like it's been at the detriment of your health or your family. The success and fulfillment you're looking for can only be enjoyed when your business and home life are balanced in harmony. It's time to stop trading heading off between life and business, it's time to evolve them both. Join me for our next 12 week, evolve mastermind, where your work towards your next stretch business goal while maintaining the balance across all areas of your life so that when you reach your goal you feel successful, not exhausted, behind or neglectful. It's time to take back the power. Find out more about the Evolve mastermind at lifefriendlybusiness.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
