You're listening to the life friendly business podcast. I'm your host, Erin Thomas Wong, business mentor, author and founder of the cocoon VIP membership, empowering women around the world to build businesses on their terms. If you want to grow and scale, a business that works in harmony with your family and your life, this podcast is for you.
This topic is quite an emotive one, and commonly why the term mumpreneur is revered by some women, because they feel like they aren't being taken seriously. And some people are making judgments on how valid their business is. I know that for me, when I left my career in TV when I had my first son, that when I bought a franchise of small print fingerprint jewellery and was then out and about doing craft stalls with selling my jewellery that I really had that feeling of were people looking down at me, were they thinking that it was just a bit of a hobby business, I did have lots of people who thought I was absolutely mad to give up a job in TV to be selling jewellery. But as I said, back in my own story in episode two, it just felt absolutely right. And it felt like something I needed and wanted to do. And it was absolutely the beginning of this journey for me in becoming a business owner that has stood me in good stead for where I am today. But the point is that, you know, I was very aware that people were making judgments about the fact that I've gone from working with celebrities and TV to suddenly having a stall at a fair. And it really does impact the way that you see yourself.
Before the pandemic struck, I was holding to in person event a year called the momentum day, I held one in London and one in Bournemouth and hopefully fingers crossed, there'll be restarting soon. But we had one of those real moments of togetherness during q&a at one of the events, the Q and A's are always one of my favourite parts, because you know, everyone gets chatting and you can really feel the support in the room. And one of the women was explaining that her partner was particularly being unsupportive about her business, and they just didn't get it. And it was really, really bringing her down. And she was quite emotional on the day. And you know, everyone started chipping in and sharing their own experiences. And I said, you know, can I just ask if, if you've got someone in your life who is not supportive of you running your own business? Can you put your hand up, and every single person 50 people in that room put their hand up, and it was a goose bump moment, but what it did is make everyone there realise that they weren't alone in that. And, you know, the norm for most people is to have a full time job, you know, maybe nine to five, and many of our friends and family may think that we're crazy to opt for the financial uncertainty of running our own business. And, you know, sometimes it's really hard for them to comprehend why we would want to do that. And, you know, I think that is that does kind of create quite a difference in the way that you see things.
If you've got this kind of entrepreneurial mindset of realising that you can be creating something of your own, and earning money from doing that, you know, earning money for something that you've created, rather than working for someone else and selling something that they've created. But the truth is, is that we shouldn't let other people's misconceptions affect us. And that is easier said than done. So I think that one of the things about mums in business because often the catalyst for starting your own business, as it was with me, is the fact that you've had children, and you've realised that you don't want to or it's not viable to go back to your previous career. And so you've decided to start a business, and most likely you're trying to do it on a shoestring budget, and most likely you're using family money in order to do it. So really, a lot of women are starting small, which is absolutely fine.
One thing I would say is think big, but start small. That's one of the mistakes that I made is that I thought small and I started small, and I didn't really think about how I could scale the business in particular I'm thinking about my pitter patter hub for bub's business, which were venues for baby and toddler classes, and I used pubs, family friendly pubs, nice gastropubs, I use their space in return for people buying teas and coffees. And it actually really, really took off. And I had seven venues in the first few years. But it wasn't actually very stable, because the pub managers would decide that they wanted to do something different with the space. And then I would be out even though I'd built up all the marketing and got people attending the classes. And so that's just a little story about, you know, I wish I'd thought bigger picture at the beginning, and then still started small and make my way up.
So starting small, and that is where most of us start, especially when we're building a business after having children. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I think that maybe what happens is that the people around us, our friends and family, therefore see us with our little business. And you know, this whole idea of a kitchen table business makes it all feel very, very small. And you know, what they're not seeing is perhaps the longevity and the scalability of the business that you know, is possible.
So, you know, I hear stories all the time about, you know, women getting so frustrated that because they work at home, their friends think that they can just drop everything and go out for a coffee. And sometimes it really, really drives them nuts, because it's like I am actually working here. Now, obviously, if you can build a life friendly business, it's quite nice to have a slot or to a week where you are able to do that. But the fact is here is that what people get annoyed about is the fact that their friends are making a judgement about the fact that their work isn't important enough for them to have to be at their desk. And you know, depending on what it is that you do, you might have client calls and things like that, just like someone who is working for a corporate might have. So it's to do with the perception that other people have of us.
So this can lead to feeling really frustrated and misunderstood by, you know, your nearest and dearest. And this is where you really do need to set your boundaries and be able to communicate them with the people who need to know. So maybe you decide, you know what, you don't have time for coffee ever, on a weekday that's just not going to work. Or maybe you decide, like I have that on Fridays, I might only take one call, if any. And therefore I have space, if my work allows it at that time that I can go out for a coffee with a friend. So I've kind of built in some flexibility there. So you get to decide that. So that's one thing is about getting your boundaries in place.
But what I want to talk about really in this episode is about the fact that when we think other people are judging us when we think that people are thinking that our business is a hobby, or you know, small, all those kinds of things. If we allow that to filter through into our own thinking about ourselves, that's when problems happen. That's when people feel low in confidence, because they've allowed what they think other people are thinking into their psyche, and it's filtered down and given them self doubt. And, you know, self doubt and imposter syndrome are all challenges that we face anyway, as business owners, so we don't need any more negative external influences filtering through.
So if this is resonating with you, and you're fed up a feeling like people think that your business is a hobby, here are three things to think about.
Number one, check in with yourself. How do you actually see yourself? Do you see yourself as a business owner? I've been quite surprised over the years to be honest, how many people I speak to who they cringe at the idea of being an entrepreneur, they you know, they don't feel confident enough to call themselves a business owner. Now, if you are thinking like that, you have to realise that you will be projecting that to other people. So, you know, are you thinking of yourself as a business owner? Are you treating your business like a business? Do you have a separate business bank account? Are you making investments in support for your business in software and processes? So like, like I said, you know, it's totally understandable that many of us want to start small and you know, making little investment but as you grow, we need to be thinking more and more like a business owner and you know, perhaps, if you are not feeling confident enough to be able to call yourself a business owner, then the people around you your close friends are kind of gathering that and taking that on and feeling like, yeah, it's just a little hobby business. Okay, so just have a think about that.
I know from my personal experience, and I used to kick myself every time but for years and years, when my friends who didn't run their own businesses, I'd see them after a while, and they'd say, How's the business going? How are things going, and I would always say, it's going really well, but, but I'm not earning enough money. But I'm not getting enough sales, but blah, blah, blah. And I used to kick myself when I walked away, because I didn't want them to see me, as you know, not doing very well, I wanted to, and to be honest, sometimes I was doing really well. But I was immediately pulling myself back down in front of them. And I really had to work on biting my tongue and just leaving at it, you know, it's going really well, thanks. And then stop. So if you find yourself doing that, as well really try and bite your tongue. And, you know, like your friends who aren't in business, they don't need to know the ins and outs of your business, you know, people ask, you know, just in passing, how are things going and try really hard to have a positive response there, rather than, you know, maybe being a little bit vulnerable. There are lots of situations where you do need a place to be vulnerable. And that's why I devised the cocoon as well, so that people would feel like they can talk about that stuff. And we absolutely do. But when it comes to protecting yourself from the judgement of like your friends that you're worried about, try and hold back a little bit and don't find yourself doing what I did, and saying, Yeah, but this is going wrong. And this is going on. So I really try not to do that anymore.
So check in with yourself, are you actually seeing yourself as a business owner? And are you treating your business as a business, and not as a hobby, if you're not just one extra thought there? Are you holding back on doing that, because it all feels a bit daunting. And maybe you feel a bit scared about failing in your business, or perhaps you're a bit scared of it actually working. And then what will happen, you're gonna have to, like cater for loads more clients or make loads more products, and you're not gonna have time to do it. Fear of success is a real thing.
So if you're not treating yourself, like a business owner, do peddle back and try and work out what's happening there. So the fact is, is that we can get really caught in the trap of looking for external validation, especially on social media, you know, looking at likes and comments and things like that. But honestly, validation has to come from within. So that's where the mindset stuff really comes in. And that's why in the cocoon, we have a whole section on self mastery, because it is just as important as your marketing strategy.
So the second thing to think about is a great quote by John Rohn. I hope I pronounced that right, you are the average of the five people you spend most time with. So I recommend that you surround yourself with business people. And you know, that's why I wanted to create a community that people could be part of, because, you know, not all of us have business friends in our normal circle. And you need to be with people who lift you up, not drag you down. So those people that make negative comments, snarky comments, and, you know, put you down, like, just kept them out of your life, if you can, or spend less time with them and more time with the people who light you up.
You need people around you who are cheerleaders. And you need to immerse yourself in that positive energy, to protect yourself to build that thick skin to deal with those people who just like making negative comments for the sake of it.
And lastly, stop looking for that external validation. So don't let other people's perceptions of you determine who you become, you know, if they think that your business is a hobby, it shouldn't matter to you, we need to be protecting ourselves from that. And we need to be stepping into our own power as a business owner. And just remember, you don't need to justify your business or how you run your business to anyone. So you know, bite your tongue, try not to give away too much to the people that you know aren't going to be supportive because there's nothing worse than laying your heart on the line and getting some negative comments back.
Decide that you are going to instead, share that vulnerability with people who get it and with people who are going to support you and help lift you back up when you need it. So stay strong. Ignore the people who think that your business is a hobby. Do consider how you're viewing yourself as a business owner and whether you're actually projecting that and that's what's being projected back at you just check in with yourself about that. I hope that's been useful and given you some food for thought I'd love to hear your views on this subject. And if you found any ways to make it clear to your friends that this is not a hobby, this is a bonafide business. Please do share on social media @lifefriendlybiz. See you next week.
How often do you work on your business rather than in it? I'm here at Life friendly business to help you carve out much needed headspace time, so that you can feel more clear focus and strategic with your business planning three times a year I hold the impact interactive online workshop. This is a three hour session to help you create time to reflect, reassess, and plan to help challenge your thinking and offer ideas on how to shape your strategy. And the event leaves you feeling uplifted, calm and confident. By joining us for a morning of learning, networking and masterminding you're come away with fresh perspectives, new ideas and an actionable plan to move forward and make waves in your business. Book your ticket for our next event now at lifefriendlybusiness.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
