Erin Thomas Wong
You're listening to the life friendly business podcast. I'm your host, Erin Thomas Wong, business mentor, author and founder of the cocoon VIP membership empowering women around the world to build businesses on their terms. If you want to grow and scale a business that works in harmony with your family and your life, this podcast is for you.
Today I'm speaking to Awena who is the founder of Motherhood Transitions and the Awoken Woman Journey. She's an occupational therapist, coach, speaker retracements expert, COVID researcher and trainer. Her personal experiences with motherhood and in life have led her to create a certified maternal well being practitioner training programme and develop a second business for sole lead entrepreneurs.
In this interview, Awena shares openly about the challenges she's faced with building a business that she's so passionate about, without having a detrimental impact on her relationships and with her son. You'll hear her share her strategies for keeping her mindset and well being on track. Hello, thank you so much for joining me on the life friendly business podcast.
Awena
Thank you so much for having me. It's so exciting. Thank you,
Erin Thomas Wong
Really looking forward to talking to you today. So let's start off with what was the driver for you starting your own business,
Awena
The driver for me to start my own business was pretty much my own experience with postnatal depression, breaking down breaking through realising that I never really fitted into the box. And I think for quite a lot of people who will be listening to this who are in that kind of parental role will be able to relate to that shift that you have when you become a parent.
So quite a lot of people who I know in the in the business world maybe have started their businesses before they even had babies. And then they shifted, they pivoted, they changed it, they changed. And then I also know loads of people who after having kids, they realise that there must be more to have that they don't want to go back to that structure. So the thing that kind of kicked started for me was that after I had this, like phenomenal breakdown, and about a year of postnatal depression, which is I'm very vocal about it's all over everywhere. I've done big talks about him, now a speaker in that kind of realm. Having then the breakdown, following with breakthrough, I then realised that I had a formula that I'd used to recover, to figure out a pathway for me, as an occupational therapist, and as someone who'd gone through motherhood, to then help support people who may be experiencing are on the brink of experiencing some level of profound depression, some sort of disconnect with life again.
So it was very much through my own experience that I then was kind of shown that I could then go choose a different way. I also knew that I never fit into that box. So that box that we, you know, we go to school, we learn certain things, we go to college, we do this thing, we get educated, and we go to work, and we do this thing, and then we die. And like I just knew that that just wasn't me. I know I've really struggled with education, I have to work so hard to get my degree and to work in that way. And then when I went into sort of the structure of things like county council work and NHS work as an occupational therapist, I loved what I did, I loved my job. But I really struggled to fit into what they're asking of me, like coming in at a certain time leaving at a certain time can't take certain holidays, all this kind of, you know, you can and can't do this and you're capped at certain pay scales. And it's something that I mentioned the other day to you, Erin was that there's been a sort of voice in my head since I was like a teenager since I was a kid of there's something huge I need to do in the world. There's something massive that's gonna happen, I'm not ashamed to say it. I totally want to go on Oprah, I want to be Oprah. You know, like, that's what I want to be doing, like actual systemic change. And the underworld.
When I was a young teenager, I thought it was going to become this huge, like Hollywood actress, and I was gonna be a drama school and all this kind of stuff. And I saw this, this life that was just, like wild and abundant. And just like, I don't know, something very Hollywood about it. So after I have my kid, I just knew there was, that was my chance. That was my time to go what I want to do with my life. I need to be in a place where I'm going to be inspirational to myself, but also is special to my family. I want to be able to provide this like life that I've always felt I wanted needed deserved. And I knew that was never going to come from going back to work. I knew that that was my sliding door moment was like you can go this way or you can go that way. So I definitely went my way.
Erin Thomas Wong
I love that. And I think that I think for so many women having a child is often the catalyst of when they start reflecting on the way they've been living their life so far and is this the way they want to continue living and does that life and you know, fit with having the family and being the mother that they want to be like that. That's definitely what happened for me. And I love the fact as well that you recognised that there was a bit of a gap there when you had postnatal depression. And then you know, you had the skills from going through your own journey to help other women.
So how have you managed to balance building that business and bringing up your young son? Like, have you made conscious decisions in order to make that business life friendly?
Awena
Have now Yeah, but it took a while to get there. So it took about a couple of years. So when I first started, I came into my world and I took a few courses, I did a few things. And I was like, right, in three months time, I'm gonna be earning, I don't know, like 30 to 40 grand a month. You know, I just assumed that's how it works. Like no business background whatsoever. I've had to really, really study you know, and I've won two awards now for influential Businesswoman of the Year, last year, and this year, so I must be doing something right. Which is really incredible. But yeah, kind of came on and just assumed it was going to be a certain way. And so I basically worked on all the hours possible, I didn't know how to kind of, you know, communicate to my husband, what I was thinking how I was wanting to work. And before it was all sort of pre COVID. So we had about a year pre COVID of me.
And actually, it was COVID, that really helps change things. But that year before COVID, I was basically in my own crazy world of absolute obsession with building a business and making a million dollars, like really obsessed with it, like to the point when I completely neglected my family, really looking back on it, if I'm honest, I put loads and loads and loads and loads of effort and love and care and attention to my business. And why marriage nearly broke up why we had about four big conversations that year. And it got to a point where we were seriously thinking, can we even make this work. And we are so deeply in love that that was actually going to be an option. But the fact that it had gotten to that point, was saying that something was categorically wrong about the way that I was particularly working. And then COVID happened. And our child was at home, my husband worked in events, industry and things like that. So all that work when he's really techy anyway, so he like makes music and does this incredible stuff. So he started to help me build my business because I had this horrible, horrific experience with someone who kind of just took over all the tech stuff. And that's it just won't go into it. But it basically snowboarding absolutely was...I think you probably remember when that happened. And everything just came crashing down around me.
So my husband then helped me to build everything back up in a tech way. And we started kind of working together by accident, and started to reevaluate how I was functioning. We started to communicate better, I started to coach me and him in a way where I would open up space to explore how he was feeling and what was it about me that was triggering him? And then what was it about him that was triggering me. And we kind of took this incredible path of self discovery within our relationship where we communicated on a very different level. And we started separating time aside so that we were time with our child time on business time together.
And so whilst we were learning how to kind of cope with COVID, we were also learning how to function as a family unit, with building these businesses together and alongside each other. And I wonder, actually, if, because he now sort of building his business, that maybe he saw a bit more of where I was coming from, and then I was able to offer him a bit more space. Yeah, so how we've now kind of started to work together is that we really communicate with what each other needs, and I don't harass him for tech stuff, I work with him as if I would work with someone who isn't actually living with me and working on the same project as me. So I sent him emails and things like that. And we have separated time stamping. So now, now we do live this, like family friendly, life friendly business, because we have really learned to understand the processes have what it takes to build a business, not just what it takes to build a business, but what it takes as a marriage to build a business and not even just that, but what it takes to build a business and be married and build in the same business.
So it's like so you know, we're so kind of interlinked, but I think we figured it out and it feels I genuinely feel like we're in this state of flow. We're in this state of abundance we're in this state of joy we're in this state of grounding of calm, you know, I'm not stressed anymore. I don't overwork I can switch work off. Depends on what I've got going on. But you know, sometimes that is still quite tricky to switch off in my head but we have time to do gardening we have time with Stanley we have time to just chill and like hang out with each of them. Not let me do too much of that. Because by the end of the day, I'm a bit touched out, and I'm ready just to watch Netflix and go to bed. But, you know, we don't talk to me, I'm just going to have my own time. But it works for us, you know, I'm happy with not being talked to do by the end of the day, I do so much talking in the day that I'm really happy just to have like, shush time. But yeah, it's great. And we figured it out. But it's, you know, didn't happen overnight. And it happened through incredible trauma, actually, and it happens through. And that was partly to do with COVID. And it happened through failing. And, yeah, it's kind of worked out now.
Erin Thomas Wong
Thank you for sharing so openly, because I think that will be very helpful to people. And, you know, I can certainly recognise a lot of things in there. And I know that, you know, when my husband quit the corporate world and started his own business, he had this new understanding of what things were like for me, and I remember him saying, wow, you know, I did think that I was being supportive, but I wasn't really was I? And I was like, not always, you know, these comments about when are you actually going to pay any money into the joint account weren't very helpful when I was in the early days of setting up my business.
But the other thing I wanted to touch on is you were talking about, you know, when you were so focused on the business, and like really, you know, really influenced the business, but that it meant it was kind of at the detriment to your family life and to your role as mum. And that's something we talk about a lot on the Evolve mastermind, this idea that you have the three core areas of your life, business, family and you. And often, well, you is often the one that gets really squeezed. But it's really hard sometimes when businesses kind of overflowing that the other two kind of suffer. And it's, I think having that balance and be like the way that you have managed to pace things out now, you're getting all those three aligned, and I think that's where we feel truly successful, when we can have all of those things.
Awena
Yes, absolutely. I think that for me, that is where success comes from. For me, that's when I feel like I'm being a successful businesswoman. I'm been a successful mother, and been successful partner, wife, and being a successful person within who I am, because I'm also not neglecting my needs, you know, and that feeling that, that feeling of balance it you know, that that takes time to kind of to kind of readjust. And so many women have been through this where they've built a business and they've gone but they've gone for it. And they realise they're like, Oh, my God, this is really a detriment to my child, I'm just not there enough. Because we're so swamped, and so excited. And so inspired by what we're doing that something somewhere along the line takes the hit. And then when it takes a hit, then you're like, Okay, we need to reevaluate and see what's going on here. And how do we kind of manage that, but that kind of feeling of success?
You know, I think when I first came into the business world, I was like, alright, successful means earning loads of money. That's what it means. And in fact, it is, yes, of course, money is part of it. Like we wouldn't be here, building these businesses, if money was not a massive yay, factor for us. Because we want these fantastic lives, right? We want to do amazing things with our money, I want to claim my debt that any of my friends or family have, I want to build amazing houses, I want to set up a charity, I want to, you know, do all these amazing things on a jet set around the world I want to do, you know, want to provide. But that's not success to me.
Success to me, is being in the place that I am in right now, which is in alignment with who I am as a person, right in alignment with who I'm able to serve, with alignment with my family was my child. And I'm not saying it's like Disney, you know, like we have difficult times we have, we're going through a challenging time at the moment. But we are connected in a way that was not there in the beginning, it was very, very disconnected. It was me, me against them against him against you know, it was not a unit that was working, unified. And now that everything is beautifully settled in its own kind of rhythm. That for me a success. And I don't worry about stuff. I don't stress about stuff. I used to be so stressed out. And I just don't I literally love what I do. I can't do I don't do I let go what I can't do. That's it.
Erin Thomas Wong
That is wonderful. And it's Yeah, it is amazing to get to that place. And I think that it's not easy to just start this journey and instantly be there you have to go through this evolution of being a business owner as well. And I it was really interesting what you're saying about you know, when you first came to this, and you didn't really have an idea about business, and you were like, well, yeah, I'm going to be earning 70,000 pounds a month. And I know that we've talked before about you know, all this online chatter about you know, get 100,000 followers in four weeks and you know, make six figures make seven figures. I mean, I remember that except an ad on YouTube of this woman sitting there at a desk, basically saying, if you're not earning $100,000, a year, you're doing something wrong. And I was just like what? Like it. And I just think there's so much of this talk. And actually, I totally agree with you.
That, for me, success is about having that balance. It's about being calm, and enjoying my life and making good money. Yes, of course. But it's also about the impact I'm making, how happy I am, my well being. So I just, I really think that we need more messages like that out there, rather than the, you know, 30,000 a month, within two months of starting your business.
Awena
Yeah, becauseit's really stressful. So when you're, especially if you're new to business, and everyone's new to business at some point, that's why we all start with brand new, and we go, we've got this lovely idea. It's pretty amazing. And then we come on to the online world. So I remember seeing this advert that came up to me on Facebook. And basically, it was somebody really famous. And they were saying that you could build a course within 72 hours, and then make a six figure business. So that, for me is such false advertising. Because yeah, you you might be able to build a little course, in 72 hours, if you had all the equipment, if you had people building it for you, if all you needed to do was speak into, you know, PowerPoint presentation, and someone else put it all together for you if you had an ad budget, which was utterly ridiculous. And if the follow on from that was that someone came to work with you for, say, five grand per person from that little course, and you hit the right target.
So technically, you probably maybe could actually have a six figure business, if you built a course in 72 hours, if you had like this phenomenal team and a massive ad budget behind you. But it's that kind of illusion of you know, barely do anything, and you can just be totally rich person. And I think that's a really, it's such a negative message to send to people, especially if you're starting your business with basically nothing. And you have a pretty much no business skill or awareness yet. And just really starting from scratch. And it's messages like that, which are flooding in the internet, which then filter into our minds and instantly triggers to go, we're not good enough, we're never gonna make it I'm, you know, she's better than I am. So self sabotage comes in disbelief of self comes in, you start going down rabbit holes. And actually, what we're not doing is we're not facing our inner critic, we're not facing our inner wounds, we're not facing, you know, our own kind of personal development stuff that needs to be met that needs to be worked on that needs to be nourished because we're instantly faced with negative self belief and false hope.
Erin Thomas Wong
Yeah, and I think it is, it's that idea as well that we find ourselves like, burdened with other people's measures of success when it comes to that. And I think, you know, use the word illusion. And I think that's brilliant, because, you know, when you see people saying I earned 100 to 100,000 pounds this month, what you don't see is how much they spend in Facebook ads, and how much they're spending on a coach to help them and all those things. And, yeah, I think I think the the one of the statistics for small business owners is that it can take anywhere between three and five years to make a business profitable. Yeah, the stuff that we see online makes us think that with no previous experience that you can pay to do you can pay 1000s of pounds to do an online course. And suddenly you're making 10k a month. And I agree, I think it's damaging. I think the women that I speak to are finding this toxic and it is making all that self doubt which we feel naturally anyway. It's just amplifying it.
Awena
Oh god. Yeah, I mean, it really got me to be honest, that I was I was absolutely deluded. Because I genuinely believed what was being said. And it's been a real kind of, it's been a really quite incredible journey, to kind of go down that journey to kind of really realise what I want. But I think, more importantly, than trying to make 10 grand a month from the get go more importantly is are you doing what you actually really want to do? What do you kind of, you know, what are your aspirations, what are your ideas about where you want to be going with it? And we get trapped instantly into that into that cycle.
Erin Thomas Wong
So you've obviously, you know, over the last couple of years, you've been through this cycle and, and now you've, like worked really hard at setting your boundaries and communicating them to a partner and all their things. What do you do to keep your own mindset on track?
Awena
I do quite a few things. So I meditate pretty much every day. I've been practising gratitude pretty much every day for the last couple of years, I do reading time. So I have kind of time in the morning, what I tend to do, depending on what's happening with my child sleep issues and things like that, but what I tend to do is get up pretty early, so something around the five o'clock mark, and then that time in the morning is really great space for me just to breathe, to journal what's going on, to maybe listen to a 10 minute meditation or do you know, read a chapter of a book or watch a little webinar or something like that.
So actually, for me, it's about including those daily success habits every single day, and they're not huge, there's not always loads of them, I kind of mix in and out with what they are. But by creating that little bit of space for me and my mental health, that's what keeps me on track. So I'm every day doing something to do with personal development. Every day, I'm doing something to, you know, kickstart my path sympathetic nervous system to help reduce any cortisol that's going on every single day a question, How am I feeling? Does this feel right? Is this okay? So I check in with myself, I do like a bit of an MOT, I always have something that is being instilled into my mind. So again, you know, personal development and sort of learning and practising some sort of level of mental wellness. And that honestly, has been pretty much the key for me.
Erin Thomas Wong
That is brilliant. That's some great ideas in there for people as well. So, you know, for the people listening that would really like to get their work life balance on track, maybe they're in a situation where you were last year where business or thinking about business, sometimes it's not even working on the business, it's all the stuff that is swimming around our heads is negatively impacting the rest of our lives, what would be your, your advice for them,
Awena
Really, really, it's okay to take some time out. In fact, the more space that you give yourself, the bigger your business is going to grow. And don't be afraid to ask, you know, don't be afraid to be vulnerable, that's a huge thing. So part of my growth, in myself and in my business, financially and otherwise, in this last nine months has been because of my vulnerability, and being really, really honest with myself, you know, don't be worried about asking for help, don't be worried about saying how you really feel.
So for anyone who's in that real kind of sticky place, put things down, it's okay to put things down, it's okay just to do one or two things. And it's really, really, really, really okay to take some time out, the less you do. I know people who says to me, and I'll be like, You must be insane, how can I do less and be more like it just didn't, did not compute at all, I could not get my head around the fact that you take time out and you do less, which means you do more, I was like, That is not true. You have to work 24/7, you have to work on absolutely everything. If you are not like on YouTube, on Pinterest, on Facebook, on Instagram, you're going to fail. And that's what I honestly saw. So I set up all these accounts, I did all this stuff. But really, it's the inner work.
So if anyone is in that place of imbalance, take that step back, put down what you don't really need prioritise and just do one thing at a time. Like I don't post on social media regularly at all, I don't ever go into my own personal group that much, because I'm right now spending a lot of my time on building and running my own programmes, which have blown up. So that's been absolutely incredible. And yeah, the success that I've had sort of in business terms has categorically 100,000,000% come from the fact that number one, I've been really vulnerable. Number two, I've taken time out for myself. And number three, I've allowed myself to create those daily success habits that work for me, and then taking time out to be with my family.
Erin Thomas Wong
brilliant advice. And I, I think, you know, touching back on what you talked about vulnerability, I I've totally agree, I think it's really important. And that's one thing that you know, when we were talking about this whole, how quickly you can grow your business, all these messages that come through, we need to be real here. And I think it's really important to have a place where you can be vulnerable. And that's why I created the cocoon as well, which obviously you're a part of, and you know, I love the fact that in there, women can come on and they can be vulnerable. They can have tears, they can share with us the challenges and the support they get. It's just incredible, isn't it?
Awena
Yeah, it's incredible. I wouldn't be as healthy in mind as I am had I not have that kind of support. Because that's the other thing is when you're online, it can be a very, very busy place and when you can be overloaded in one instance, you're overloaded with people and opinions and stuff. In the very same breath. You are feeling so alone and so completely isolated. So having that support network especially with female support network because we respond differently. Differently hormonly, we can kind of kick side to the serotonin and things like that which is really an oxytocin sorry, which is really pretty awesome is invaluable. You know it absolutely invaluable.
Erin Thomas Wong
Yeah, surround yourself with people who get it. Yeah. So what's next for you?
Awena
Oh my gosh, what's next for me? I so excited, I like literally got the biggest smile on my face right now. So, through my many, many failings online, and loads of deep work, and lots and lots of healing, and lots of being vulnerable, and, you know, really going to town on my own internal shift to be honest, and figuring all that out. I have stepped up massively. And I have developed and created a six week well, actually, it's an eight module, but it's it's a training programme for maternal wellness practitioner. So I'm an occupational therapist, and a coach and NLP practitioner, Master Practitioner. So what I've done, and I've got CBT, with me as well. So what I've done through my extensive research online over the last couple of years, and my own personal experiences, and my professional experience, is that I've developed a training programme, that is Royal College of OT accredited assets. So it's been through like HCPC and RTO T accreditation.
So what that means is that I basically now have a training pack that I then deliver to other OTs, healthcare professionals, coaches, and who wants to work or already do work or doulas people, health care workers, who do work within the maternal mental health space, or just the motherhood space in general, or who want to help more mums. And then I then train them to carry out this six week programme which they can use as one to one they can use on online group or offline, real life group as well. And it basically everything in there has been scientifically proved, everything in there has been researched, everything in there has been accredited. So it's this really incredible programme, which eventually I'll probably franchise, I guess I'm still kind of looking into that at the moment. But the fact that it's got that stamp, the fact that it's been going through this really rigorous checking means that someone who comes to then train with me, then walks away with this pack of a six week programme, knowing that what they're delivering, it has been basically clinically assured, which is just absolutely incredible. So I have a fairly decent sized waitlist. And I only did three posts about that I've not even advertised that officially yet. And I've already double my numbers. So I wanted a certain amount of people in and I've doubled that already with doing just three posts online, because I've won Business Woman of the Year awards, because I've been on the podcast because I've been out there because I've been setting up groups because I've been literally absolutely everywhere that's enabled me to not get to this place where I can kind of sit back and go, right, okay, I've got this incredible formula.
So that's a massive thing that's about to kick off later on this year. Other things are doing Big Co researching projects with the university and our so no, which is all about the efficacy of postnatal depression on my therapeutic coaching methods, which is super exciting. There's a think about a PhD going on in there, I want to write a couple of books, I'm not sure how well which one I'm going to do first. And then aside from that, I now have opened up just this year, a conscious connected connection coaching side of my business, which is all about aligning to self for female entrepreneurs. So it's very small as far as spiritual development. It's de-shedding the you know, all the old wounds or old stories that we've been telling ourselves for all these years. And it's really working through a much more kind of aligning clearing process so that we can step into that actual place of feeling inside abundant, healthy, happy, inspired, motivated, joyful, you know, all these incredible things. We're really shifting our mindset, really shifting our energetic systems to just kind of step into this phenomenal place. And yeah, that's going incredible. So that's doing really, really well. So now I have these two beautiful sides of my business, which can be in the middle, but they are relatively separate. And it's just kind of moving forward and moving forward to move forward. So huge things are coming up this year.
Erin Thomas Wong
I love I love the passion in your voice we can all feel it. Where can people find out more about these two things.
Awena
And I think the best thing really at this stage of the game is to just come and befriend me on Facebook. Come and follow my page motherhood transitions. I'm kind of going through a big rebranding at the moment so I think the best thing to do is to come and befriend me because I will update everything in there so as I kind of shift and change I'll have any page on my website is going to get redone all the rest of it. So yeah, I think Facebook Awena is fine. You can go Instagram Awena, you can go check out my website to which is naomiella.com. And that will be sort of relinked and everything anyway.
Erin Thomas Wong
Lovely. And so one last question before we finish. So if you could go back and speak to Awena when she was very much at the beginning of her business journey, what would you tell her?
Awena
Take your time. Also, take your time. Really focus on one thing, one thing at a time. Try not to get distracted by shiny objects and be really careful with who you work with. I think that's probably what I'd say. It's okay to take your time.
Erin Thomas Wong
Great advice. Great advice. It is a marathon, not a sprint.
Awena
Absolutely. Yeah. And I really believed it was a sprint at the beginning. And it really was such a detriment.
Erin Thomas Wong
Thank you so much for speaking. So honestly, today, I know that people are going to resonate with you. And there's loads of tips in there as well to help people. So thank you.
Awena
Oh, you're so welcome. Thank you so much. It's been wonderful to speak to you. I've been so looking forward to this. It's been really great. Thank you.
Erin Thomas Wong
You're welcome.
Honestly, it can feel like there is a lot you need to learn when building a thriving business. And it's easy to feel like you'll never know everything you need to be successful. But it is possible just so long as you stay focused on building the right knowledge and skills. When you join the cocoon VIP membership, you'll have the opportunity to book a one to one orientation call with me and I'll help you to prioritise the activities that will have the biggest impact on your business and direct you to the materials and the library that you need. There's no need to learn it all. We'll just focus on the things that will make the biggest difference to you. We have everything you need to build a life friendly business. So check out the cocoon now at lifefriendlybusiness.com/cocoon
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
