Erin Thomas Wong
You're listening to the life friendly business podcast. I'm your host, Erin Thomas Wong, business mentor, author and founder of the cocoon VIP membership, empowering women around the world to build businesses on their terms. If you want to grow and scale a business that works in harmony with your family and your life, this podcast is for you.
Today, I'm speaking to Carly rose. Not only is Carly my amazing online business manager, but she also understands the Juggle of being a mum and working around family life. She started her first business back in 2017, after having her second son, and realising that going back to work, even part time was just not going to work for her. So she set to work using her skills from the corporate world to create a truly flexible business that fitted around her family life. In this interview, she shares the quite difficult decisions she's had to make recently, in order to keep her business life friendly. Carly, thank you so much for joining us on the life friendly business podcast.
Carly Rose
Hey, thank you for having me.
Erin Thomas Wong
So what was the driver for you starting your own business?
Carly Rose
For me, I had just had my second son and I was fed up of feeling all the guilt so guilt for having to leave my children to go to work and and then guilt on the other side. So guilt for whenever I had to call my boss to say I couldn't make it in. And I just wanted to have some real flexibility as opposed to the part time that the corporate world actually office.
Erin Thomas Wong
I think that a lot of people will resonate with that guilt. And it's such a it's such a toxic emotion, isn't it when you feel so pulled between, you know, where what you want to be doing and where you feel you should be working and you know, all these different things and having a boss to answer to I think that's something that a lot of people will recognise in their own lives.
Carly Rose
Absolutely. And one of the things I used to hate about going into work is when I went back to work after my first son was born, I did three days a week, and every time I was in, somebody would make some stupid comment that made me want to scream that oh, if you're in today, are you Oh, hi, part timer. Yeah, actually, I think I was probably working harder than any of you and then having to go home and work. It was very frustrating.
Erin Thomas Wong
That's a really hard position to be in. And yeah, I can totally understand why you decided that actually, you want to do your own thing and do it on your own terms. So what does a life friendly business look like for you?
Carly Rose
Life friendly for me is being able to pick and choose my working hours to suit me. So to be super flexible, and to work around my family life, I wanted to be able to take the kids to school, pick them up, attend sports days, any assemblies and things like that. But at the same time, I also had a had didn't want to not work at all. And I really wanted to be able to create a business that fitted around that using the skills that I learned throughout my working life.
Erin Thomas Wong
And you so you're obviously working with clients. And I know for many women that you know that I've mentored that it's a really hard balance, isn't it between trying to create the schedule that you want, but also servicing your clients and managing their expectations? So how have you managed to do that? Yeah, it
is really tricky. And I'm not gonna lie, it's not one I've probably nailed. But boundaries are key, and you have to have them and you have to stick to them. And I'm not going to say that I do all of the time, because that would be a total lie. But I do have boundaries, and I do have to keep revisiting them because life changes your clients change. So you have to keep looking at them and keep making sure that they're working for you. But it is not. It's not an easy one. And especially as a people pleaser, because I think anyone in the line of work that I'm in and you're in, you know you're looking to help people and you want to serve them. So it's really hard when that email comes in not to just drop everything Oh, God, this person needs me. I've got to do it right now. And I think that's something I've had to work on myself. And it's something I think that you mentioned previously about over delivering and actually my expectations I have for myself, often way higher than my clients.
And that's really hard because then you just feel like you're never quite doing enough. Don't do that. Yeah. And that's it. That's a vicious cycle. So have you had to make any difficult decisions in order to keep your business life friendly?
Definitely. And I'm in the middle of it right now. I've decided to take a step back in to move forward. So over the last two months, I've halved my client list. So I really, really had to look at the work I was doing and what I was enjoying and what I wasn't enjoying. And I think this was all triggered by the pandemic, because actually, I got really busy during the pandemic, because lots of women needed support, which was amazing. And I really felt pulled to to support them, and felt that I could at the time, and actually, I think it's sometimes it's a bit like the school holidays, when the school holidays happen, and you stop, and you get ill, or, you know, something happens. And I felt like that happened. Like, although the pandemic is not over, it certainly subsided slightly for me in terms of the kids being back at school, and I actually have time for my business, and actually was like, I this, this isn't feeling fun anymore. You know, I feel really worn out and overwhelmed. So I decided that I needed half my client list to actually be able to focus on my business rather than everybody else's. And look at what I really wanted to do moving forward.
And that's an incredibly brave decision to make. And it was scary. Yeah. And I think what's what's really interesting is that, you know, maybe do you feel like, especially people in your situation, as an online business manager, or as vas, there's kind of this pressure to scale. And, you know, get as many clients as you can, and, you know, maybe set up an agency, you know, how do you feel like you were kind of buying into that idea, and then decided, actually, that wasn't how you wanted to do things? Or what's your plan for, for making it kind of changing your work dynamic?
Yeah, well, definitely. I'm online all the time, especially for my clients. And I have a lot of coaching clients and, and that the online space in that area is all about, you know, six figures, or seven figures that scale your business in three months, you know, and, and you can't help but feed into that and feel like crikey, well, why am I not doing that? And I really had to sit down and think about about it. I was like, well, actually, because I don't want to I don't I don't want that right now I know, I've got a four year old at home. It's not even started school yet. And although yes, I probably could do that. Does it mean I should? And actually no, because the whole reason for me starting my business was that I was present for him. And I don't feel I could do both to the level that I would expect it of myself, I suppose. So right now, scaling my business is not something I really want to do, I think I do in the future. But right now I want to tick over as I am and enjoy my work. I love love my clients and I love their businesses and what they stand for. And I want to be present at particularly over the summer holiday with the boys. So yeah, so that was the reason for me taking a step back. And moving forward, I'm looking at other other avenues to be able to support the women in my industry.
And because you know, with with the OBM work, like it is very much time for money, isn't it, you get paid an hourly rate or a retainer. And so with with your kind of your, your ideas for future projects, you're looking at more of a one to many approach, is that right?
Yeah, so I'm, I've actually pretty much finished writing a course for new VA. So those ladies that are starting out, who are looking for flexibility, and a business to work around their family life. So I just need to get along and record that. And I'm hoping to get that out into the world so that I can support more women on a larger scale. And a fellow Cocooner actually, Syma and I are working behind the scenes at the moment to start a VA membership so that we're able to support lots of VA'S at the same time.
That's brilliant. And I love hearing about cocoon collaborations. This is one thing that I just feel so strongly about that, you know, even if there are people doing a similar thing to you, there is always room for collaboration and you know, you you to joining forces with your each having your own areas of expertise, but then providing something you know, so well rounded is just it's brilliant. And I love I love the fact that you said getting it out there in the world because I think there really is that feeling that we all have lots of ways that we can help people. And sometimes we hold back because of like low confidence or our inner critic stuff or a fear of selling but actually we just need to get it out there. That's the hardest thing isn't it? Just letting go of it.
it really is Yeah, and being visible and I think you're never going to please everybody not everybody is gonna want to take your course or want to be in your group. But those that do will find you and and that's what's important.
I can't believe I'm going to do this but I am going to quote the greatest showman right now. When when? Oh my god, yeah. PT Barnum, when she says to him, you don't need everyone to love you just a few good people. And it's so true, isn't it, there are customers and clients to go around. And you know, when it is it does make you feel vulnerable when you're creating something, whether it's a course or a membership, or a blog post or a book, but we have to do it. And we have to put ourselves out there because actually, it is going to help people, even if it's one person, even if it's 100 people, even if it's 1000 people, it can help.
Absolutely. And I think that that, that you're right there, like surrounding yourself with like minded people and people who get you your tribe, I think it's overused. But I think that's, that's the same in life and business, right you want you want to be around people that, that get you and like you and enjoy what you have to offer and vice versa. Because you will bounce off of each other. And that's what's happened in the cocoon. And that's how I met Symer. And we were able to do this.
Yeah, and I think that, you know, one thing that I find that I speak to a lot of women about is when they start a business that maybe in their friendship networks, like everyone else is kind of doing a normal nine to five, or maybe they're not working, and you can feel really isolated because you don't have anyone to speak to who gets it who gets the challenges that you're facing. And yeah, that's exactly why I wanted to create the cocoon to have that kind of sisterhood of women that are all trying to you know, we're all building businesses, and we're all doing it on our own terms. And to be able to support each other and lift each other up is just so invaluable. You know, it's been really interesting hearing you talk about, you know, how you absolutely could be taking on more clients, you could be making more money, all those things. But you know, you still got two young children, one of one of whom is still not at school, what I'm really interested to hear is how you measure your success, like do you feel successful?
Carly Rose
Yes, I do. And I measure success. Well, success. For me, it's a feeling. So if I'm feeling happy, if I'm feeling secure, if I feel like I'm doing a good job, then that's success to me. My clients are happy, and my kids are happy, I'm happy that that is success. I don't put a monetary finger on success. I think at the beginning, I was desperate to make what I was making in my corporate job. And that felt like a real figure to work towards and, and absolutely got there and I probably earn more now than I did working full time and I work very part time. So yes, that you know, the finances make a big difference. And that is awesome. But yeah, Success for me is a feeling and feeling content and happy in my life.
Erin Thomas Wong
I love that. And I love the fact as well that you are earning more now than you were on a full time with a full time job, but absolutely doing it on your own terms. But I totally agree that success is a feeling and if we're constantly feeling like, we're kind of chasing this vision, and not enjoying the journey and not celebrating the success as we go along. It's you know, it can probably feel quite empty. Obviously, you know, you sound like you've got a really positive mindset. Do you ever have wobbles?
Carly Rose
Oh my gosh, all the time. Absolutely, yeah. And I don't want to make make it out like my journey has been all unicorns and rainbows because it certainly hasn't. And I think I do suffer probably more now with overwhelm than I did before. Because you know, the business is mine. It's my responsibility. You know, I'm responsible for getting work done for myself for my clients. So, you know, yes, overwhelm does kick in, but I'm definitely a glass half full kind of person, I'm very positive and have to work on your mindset daily to, to keep on top keep on top of all those feelings. Imposter syndrome also kicks in because like we said before, you know, the online space is busy and we're all trying desperately not to compare ourselves with others. But sometimes it happens and you know, you have to just acknowledge it, accept it and then remember who you are and why you're doing what you're doing.
Erin Thomas Wong
100% What do you do then if you have a day where you feel really overwhelmed and it's all feeling too much what's your go to solution?
Carly Rose
Probably not what everyone would think to do - I get on my peloton, I've got a peloton which is like an exercise bike with a screen and there's this awesome guy on there called Cody and I just log in and do one of his classes even if it's just a 20 minute and I instantly get a boost. So that is my go to if I'm having a rubbish day I get my husband to tag team in with the kids and I'm going upstairs to do a peloton be back in 20
Erin Thomas Wong
Well, you know what I wish I had one of them because my go to would be tea and cake so a much better word Yeah. And I think as well, actually being able to talk about that when you're feeling that and actually not bottling it up. I think it's really great to have a release, isn't it?
Carly Rose
Yeah, definitely. Definitely. And I'm not great at journaling, I have to say I don't often do that, for mindset habits and all that. But I do love affirmations, I do have them up all around me in my office, lots of positive affirmations. And gratitude journaling is one of my favourites. So, at night before I go to bed, I don't always write down. But I always make an effort to go to bed thinking about the great things that have happened that day, and how I can replicate those further next day.
Erin Thomas Wong
That's wonderful. And you mentioned earlier that you work part time, can you just give our listeners an idea of kind of, I don't know whether you've got like an average day, or how your work pans out over the week, because I know that, obviously, you are my lovely online business manager. And sometimes you work evenings and at the weekends. And I know you've talked before about the fact that, you know, you're quite happy to have a different kind of schedule so that you can fit other nice things in during the week. So how do you do that? How do you manage your diary?
Carly Rose
Yeah, so I, my working week, generally is Monday to Thursday. And it's by the time I've done school drop offs and preschool drop offs, I don't really start work till quarter to 10 / 10 o'clock. And then at the moment with the way things are, I'm picking up my eldest son from school three. So really, that's not a great deal of hours. And they fly by if you're going to try and fit in lunch. And you know, I've still got stuff to do like the washing and all of that jazz. So yeah, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday, I tend to work tend to half two. And then Tuesday, my youngest finishes at half one. So that's a half day. And I try and take Friday off because I still have my youngest on a Friday. And that's supposed to be off Friday funday until he starts school.
So yeah, I try and fit all my current working in those times. But often, you know, I don't want to have to say no to fun things that come up either, because, you know, I started this business so that it fitted around me. And the fun things are just as important. So if a girlfriend says Do you fancy going for coffee, you know, on a Monday, I probably wouldn't do it Monday morning anymore. But say Wednesday morning, I will and I might work Tuesday night instead to cover that time off. I quite like to work a Sunday night because I feel like then I'm not, you know, rushing in on a Monday morning at 10 o'clock that oh my god, what's come in, I like to have a look on a Sunday night, check it all through. Because I don't get the Sunday night blues anymore, you know, so it's not like, I'm dreading going to work because I love it.
So yeah, I will be flexible with my with my time. And there are certain things for certain clients that need to be done at certain times. And I'm more than happy to do those. But what's awesome about my business, and should be the case for most people who have their own businesses, as you get to pick your clients too. It's a two way thing. So actually, the clients that I have are all incredibly supportive. We're all mums, we all get it. And we're all there to support each other. So if I'm having a difficult week, and something's cropped up in a child is poorly, I know that I can let my clients know, and they will be nothing but wonderful about it.
Erin Thomas Wong
And that does, it does make all the difference, that whole thing about, you know, the people that you choose to surround yourself with. And I think you're right that, you know, when you're working in an employed role, you don't get to do that you don't you know, the people in your office, the people in your team, you don't get to necessarily choose that. But and it's easy to feel like that's the situation in your business as well. But actually, we do have the power to do that. And it can be really scary saying no to people, or like you've done, you know, actually halving your client list and making those really difficult decisions and having difficult conversations. But in the long run, it's, it's, you know, you've got a vision of how you want things to be and you know, and you're implementing that.
Carly Rose
Yeah, and I mean, I've I mean, I also I obviously my whole business is about outsourcing, I'm suggesting to clients that they outsource. So, you know, I've had to get on board with that, too. You know, I'm suggesting that people should do that. So I have to do that, too. So in order to have a working week that that I can actually accomplish. I outsource a lot as well. And I, you know, I know it can be scary, especially when you're in the early stages of your business. You don't want to hand over aspects of your business to somebody because it's frightening.
So I always say to people, what else could you get rid of them? What else could you get rid of so that you can spend that time on your business? You know, I so I outsource my cleaning. So I have a cleaner once a week. So that I don't have to think about that and I get that extra time back to work on my business or be with the boys and during the pandemic one of the things that we decided to do here was to have HelloFresh and if anyone else uses those other options are available. We have HelloFresh three nights a week, so that I don't have to think about what I've got to cook. Because that became a real bugbear during the pandemic, you know, after homeschooling and running a business and sorting the house, and I just thought, oh, gosh, now, what am I doing now? So we've kept that up.
I actually now have my own VA, who helps me out. And I'm very good now at accepting offers of help. Because again, I think, I don't know about you, but as as a mum and a woman, I, I've often struggled to accept help. And you know, people would say, Oh, sure, I'll take the boys fee for an hour. Oh, don't be so silly. I can handle it. But now I make a real point of oh, great, thank you please do. You know, if they didn't mean it they weren't over again. So yeah, accepting offers of support is, it's definitely something I've had to learn and would definitely recommend.
Erin Thomas Wong
Yeah, I think when you're, you know, when you are trying to run a life friendly business, that means allowing support in. And I think it's really easy as a solo business owner, to feel like you have to do everything yourself. And unfortunately, you know, we we cannot do everything ourselves. Like really well, we all have areas in our business that are in our zone of genius. And then we'll have other areas which are like wading through mud. And it's much better, you know, you're gonna be able to grow your business and scale your business, if you actually reach out and take on support to help in the areas that are not your zone of genius. Definitely.
And also, I do love the fact that you've taken on help at home as well, because I think that is another mindset thing, that of the women that I speak to, you know, that invisible load, then we carry about everything else that needs to be done around the house. And I mean, God cooking meals is the bane of my life. It's not, it's not the cooking, it's the thinking of what are we going to eat every day, it's so boring. One day, I'm going to pay for someone to like fill the fridge with, like healthy ready meals, and yet never have to think about it again. Life aim there. So what advice would you give to someone who is maybe already running a business, but they feel like the business is actually running them?
Carly Rose
Well, I think accept it, look for some support. So the cocoon is a great option, or surrounding yourself with other women or not, doesn't have to be women, whatever your business is, but surrounding yourself with people who who are in a similar place, or who are that one step ahead. I certainly joined Facebook groups and networking groups where other people who were doing the same thing, just to see how they were doing it. And I know online, you get the sugar coated version, but at least you can see what they're doing. So that you can replicate it that so that it fits for you accepting the offers of support. As I said before, that's got to be the biggest one for me.
Erin Thomas Wong
That what you just mentioned there, and I think that's really true that you don't have to reinvent the wheel. There are people who have trodden the path before you, and you're going to save a lot of time and a lot of mistakes if you reach out and find those people, and, you know, learn from their lessons. And you know, absolutely, that's what the cocoon is all about and having experts on hand and women that are willing to share their failures, as well as their success. But yeah, like having that support. I think that the people that really struggle are the people that don't give themselves that and then find themselves overwhelmed and frustrated, and not making progress and feeling like a failure. And it's so sad to see that happen when you know that actually if they just reach out and ask for help, but it will it could all be okay.
Carly Rose
Yeah. And I think generally like, especially in this online spaces that I that I'm a member of people want to help, you know, we're not trying to be like, Oh, no, I can't I can't help that person because they might, you know, steal my clients or it's not, it doesn't feel like that at all. You know, everybody wants to support each other. We're all in a similar situation. And we we all want to succeed and it's a lovely feeling to see someone else succeed and you be a part of that. Yeah,
Erin Thomas Wong
absolutely. So where can people find out about more about your services, but also your upcoming exciting membership?
Carly Rose
Yeah, the best place would be probably Instagram to be honest. I'm mostly active on Instagram and, and my website, which is currently in the middle of an overhaul, so excuse it, but you can find me everywhere at carlyroseva.co.uk or carlyroseva on Insta and Facebook.
Erin Thomas Wong
Lovely. And one final question. So if you could go back to that moment when you very first started your own business. What would you what advice would you give yourself?
Carly Rose
That's an easy one for me, I would tell myself to trust myself and to stop holding myself back. I, yeah, I held myself back for a long, long time I could have, I could have probably filled my diary and I reached my corporate salary way quicker than I did. Because I think I just I kept myself. I tried to protect myself. And I think I have had to work through some fears of success, actually. And oh, gosh, what does that mean? If I actually do achieve that? What does it what what happens next? So yeah, trust, trust yourself and your gut. And often what you're feeling is right.
Erin Thomas Wong
I'm smiling here about the fear of success, because that's something that people don't often talk about, you know, we talk about fear of failure, but fear of success is a real thing. And, and so an unexplored in a lot of ways. Because, you know, people might realise that actually, what's holding them back is like you said, like, what if this works, what if I get loads of clients, and I can't service them? What if that means that I do a bad job, and they write me negative reviews? And like, you go find yourself in a spiral? And it's actually because, you know, you're worried that it's gonna go too? Well.
Carly Rose
Yeah, net, which sounds crazy, doesn't it? But it is so true. It's so true. And I think that's what mine was, I thought, Well, God, well, if I if I take on too many clients, and then I'm going to get over them, and this is going to happen and I'm not going to be able to do what I set out to do which was have a flexible business that worked around the children. And the reality is yes, you can you need to put your boundaries in place and have have some great ways at saying no that aren't actually saying no.
Erin Thomas Wong
Definitely boundaries in place your non negotiables sorted everything that we talked about in the Create your own life, rarely business prescription it is getting those things in place, and you know, not allowing things to overtake. Yeah, yeah. Brilliant. Thank you so much. It's been brilliant. Speak to you, Carly. And I know that a lot of people will resonate what you with what you said today. So thank you very much.
Carly Rose
Oh, it's my pleasure. It's been wonderful to talk to you.
Erin Thomas Wong
You've been listening to the life friendly business podcast, which is all about carving your own path and doing it at your own pace. But I know that's not easy to do. So to help you decide what a life friendly business looks like for you, and help you to stick to the boundaries and commitments needed to create that I've created the life friendly business prescription. download this free workbook and spend 30 to 60 minutes reflecting on what life friendly means to you and the changes you may need to make in order to achieve the work life balance you desire. Once you've made these decisions, you can add them to your own printable life friendly business prescription that you can put on your wall to remind yourself that you have the power to design your very own life friendly business. Download yours now at lifefriendlybusiness.com/prescription
Transcribed by https://otter.ai