You're listening to the life friendly business podcast. I'm your host, Erin Thomas Wong, business coach, mentor, author and founder of the cocoon VIP membership, empowering women around the world to build businesses on their terms. If you want to grow and scale, a business that works in harmony with your family and your life, this podcast is for you.
When life throws a curveball at you, how do you react? during the school holidays, we had a bit of a nightmare car situation, when my husband and I were headed away for a two night child free break the first in over two years. And to be honest, I thought it was going to be a COVID related thing that would stop us from going but little did I know that 45 minutes into our journey on the motorway, our car would suddenly flash up this warning sign and all power would go and we would be on the side of the road broken down. While we were there by the side of the road, we were just thinking thank goodness, the kids and the dog were not with us during that time, that would have added a whole level of stress to it. But what this meant is that our two day break was completely taken over with speaking to the garages, finding out that it was going to cost over 3000 pounds to fix the car. So therefore it wasn't worth it. Looking into politics changing and buying a new car and talking about finance.
As you can imagine, this was not the r&r that we had been desperately hoping for. And then a week later, after we've invested rather a lot of money in buying a brand new car, well, secondhand car, we find a nail in the tire just when I'm about to drive to London with my youngest, so we have to go off to the tire centre. And luckily they can repair it rather than replace it. And then we're on our way down to London on the dual carriageway. And I see this thing flapping about in the wind by the windscreen wipers. And they'd left the key to the car on the bonnet. I mean, you just couldn't make this stuff up. So then I pulled over luckily, I could pull over before the key fell off. Because you know, with those kind of kick with those kind of cars, you just need the key to be present to start the engine. So I had no idea that it wasn't in the vehicle where I had left it. And I just keep thinking if it had fallen off on the dual carriageway, the car would have stopped and I wouldn't have known what the hell's going on.
So this stuff happens. These curveballs are thrown at us, it's easy to feel like so much is out of our control, especially when you're a small business owner, even more so if you have children, there are things all the time that we don't have control over. And that can make us feel very powerless. But actually, there is one thing that we can control. And we're going to talk about that today.
The one thing that we can control is how we react to these situations. So with our car breaking down and subsequently having to be replaced, I could have been in a foul mood for the rest of that week. And I think, you know, most people would say that would be justified. But what would be the point in that? What would be the point in me completely ruining any time that we had away at the hotel, you know, I felt like I really needed to make the most of any moment that we did have. And I was also full of gratitude for the fact that we had this time the fact that my mum could look after the kids, and that we were able to afford to go to a hotel and then higher a higher car to be able to get there because the car was towed away.
I was full of gratitude. And that is something that I made a conscious decision to do. So I decided to react in the most positive way that I could. Now it's not always possible to have a considered reaction. I totally get that. But it is something that we can be more and more aware of. And for me it was actually attending the Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within event a few years ago. Like this was one of the most life changing things that we learned one of the most empowering things that we learned that we choose how we react. And the fact is is that how we react will have a ripple effect to all the people around us and therefore change the experience for everyone.
So this doesn't mean that we're not going to feel those things like, of course, we're going to feel anger, we're going to feel disappointment, we're going to feel frustration, we're going to feel irritation. But you don't have to stay in that feeling. And the quote that Tony always uses is life happens for you, not to you. And I think that, you know, if we just go along life feeling like everything's out of our control, we don't have control over this. Not only does it make us very powerless, but it also makes it seem like we are a victim. And we are not a victim, we have things that we can control. And that is how we react.
So this was definitely one of the key golden nuggets that I gained from attending Tony Robbins event. And the amazing thing is, is that I'm able to share that with you today. So the things that I've learned can benefit you. And you know, me learning that has benefited my family and my friends who I've been able to talk to about this. And that's why personal development is so important. And it's something that we should be prioritising, especially as business owners. So when I was speaking to a friend about this, she said, you know, the thing is, what she finds really hard is when other people around her are in really negative and toxic moods, and how affected she feels by that. And I completely relate to that, because I can be like a sponge, where I soak up how people are feeling around me. And in fact, a few years ago, I had a session with a healer, who really kind of helped me protect myself a bit more because empathy is a great quality, but not when it's to your detriment.
So if you're one of those people that feel so much for other people, but actually you're sucking all that in, and it's having a negative impact on you, believe me, there is something that you can do about it, you know, a healing is just one of those things, but also the personal development side of things. So when we're triggered by other people, and I know from personal experience, and from speaking to my clients, that also check our kids, our kids can be massive triggers, you know, the older they get, the more moody they get, they get into like the teenage years, and you're just like, Ah, you're just like tearing your hair out. And it's incredibly hard to have a nice considered response in those situations. And I'm not saying that, you know, you should be perfect, I am certainly not perfect. But what I want to talk to you today about and to kind of plant that seed is that this is something that you can be aware of, and that you can gradually learn more and more to do is to decide how you're going to react to things rather than having the knee jerk reaction all the time, we're bound to have it sometimes we're not perfect.
So the things that I would say that would be useful to start thinking about is to recognise what those triggers are for you. What are those things that make you scream and shout or that make you feel really sad, and really low? What are those things that are making you react in a way that you don't want to, because obviously, the first step is for you to recognise what they are, and then you're able to do something about it.
The second thing I'd say is to keep working on you keep working on your own personal development, on your own mental well being, make sure that you're filling up your own cup before giving to everyone else. But you know, making time to think about the pressure that you might be under. And whether there's anything you can do, you know, we talk a lot on this podcast, and in the cocoon, about boundaries, you know, make sure that you have got your boundaries in place. Because if you don't have your boundaries in place, you are going to feel irritated and annoyed by a lot of things that happen, because they're going to feel like they're happening to you, rather than for you. So take a step back and reflect on that.
And the last thing I want to say is that I know this all sounds great in theory about making a decision to change the way that you react. And it's not something that you're going to click your fingers and be Miss perfect every single time. And that's not what we're looking at here. But what we're looking at here is making a decision that you're going to try and take positive action rather than feeling the negative effects of things that happen that are outside of your control. And know that instead of feeling powerless, you can realise that what you can control is how you react to that situation. But I want you to give yourself grace. It will not always be easy, it will not always be clear what way you should react. But this is just something that I want you to think about in your life and reflect on whether there is more you could be doing to make those decisions that you're going to be taking positive action, rather than staying in that negative place and those negative feelings because you can decide that you're not going to do that.
I'd love to hear whether this resonated with you today. Please do reach out @lifefriendlybiz or drop me an email at [email protected] I would love to speak to you, take care.
You've been listening to the life friendly business podcast which is all about carving your own path and doing it at your own pace. But I know that's not easy to do. So to help you decide what a life friendly business looks like for you and help you to stick to the boundaries and commitments needed to create that I've created the life friendly business prescription. download this free workbook and spend 30 to 60 minutes reflecting on what life friendly means to you and the changes you may need to make in order to achieve the work life balance you desire. Once you've made these decisions, you can add them to your own printable life friendly business prescription that you can put on your wall to remind yourself that you have the power to design your very own life friendly business. Download yours now at lifefriendlybusiness.com/prescription
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
